6 Reasons Why Traditional Catholic Women Should Never Pursue Men

Video Notes for “5 Reasons Why Traditional Catholic Women Should Never Pursue Men”

A common question I get is why don’t men pursue women?

The answer is simple: because they don’t have to.

Why should they when the women pursue them?

Below is the video notes for a video I did on the topic.

Watch the video at the bottom of the page, which goes into more detail.

Here are 5 Reasons Why Traditional Catholic Women Should Never Pursue Men (Video Notes)


1) You Won’t Know Whether He Was Ever Into You

If you ask him out and otherwise pursue him in the relationship, how will you know if he was ever into you? Some men just go along to get along. Some men are lazy. Some men have no qualms in dating Mrs “right now” when they know she will never be “Mrs. Right”.


2) He Himself Won’t Know Whether He Was Ever Into You

When times get rough, if the man is the one who pursued you, he will remind himself that at  pursue mensome point he was crazy about you even if he is not now.  However, if you are the one who pursued him, you won’t even be able to ask, “Why did you marry me then’?

Do you want him thinking,  “I should never have let her CONVINCE me to go out with me?”


3) You Are Giving Up Your Femininity

Part of being feminine is being pursued.  In courtship, woman are to be delicate, not forward.

Understand, it is a beautiful thing to be pursued.

If you pursue, you are acting like a man.


4) When a Woman is Rejected, It Hurts Bad

“Hell hath no fury than that of a woman scorned”.

Women were not meant to be rejected in this way.  If you pursue a man and he says no, how will you feel?  Your whole dignity is impacted.


5 ) When You Pursue Men, You Set a Bad Precedent

If you get married, do you want to be in the man’s role? Do you want to be the one leading the relationship and being in charge?  I bet you don’t. Don’t set a bad precedent.


6) If You Don’t Pursue Men, You do Your Part in Bringing Chivalry Back

Men were meant to do the hard things.  Men have become so frightened that they don’t want to even enter the courtship game.

They’re afraid of rejection. They’re afraid of humiliation.

We need to help our men be strong, not make it easy for them.

So ladies, can we agree that we will stop pursuing men?   Please.

5 thoughts on “6 Reasons Why Traditional Catholic Women Should Never Pursue Men

  1. Joseph E. Burley

    I must say that after I got engaged a lot of people at church congratulated me. I didn’t notice many people doing the same with my lady fiance (maybe she was too busy talking lol haha) but I think that older traditional minded people do generally understand the etiquette of congratulating the man but saying best wishes or happy for you to the woman. So that points back to the tradition of the ball is in the man’s court and he has to catch and win her heart. I think you see that tradition played out in a lot of old movies and plays also.

  2. The Joker

    Regarding point 2: As a single man, I can already tell you that a married man needs to have made the commitment to himself that he is choosing this one special girl for life. If he hasn’t crossed that wall of his own volition, then she may always be wondering what he would have done if he had been left to his own devices, which would break her heart I am sure for many years to come. Let us do the pursuing! Most men will pursue a girl if they genuinely are ready for marriage and reasonably mature. If they won’t pursue you, then they either need a while to mature or they aren’t interested. See it as a blessing in disguise which may save you a lot of time and heartache. I’m sure there are many exceptions to the rule, but overall I think that’s how it works. Great article!

  3. SusanneT

    Can I add that a traditionalist Catholic man would be actively put off by a woman who was proactively chasing him. My husband would have run a mile. For him it would be a sign that the woman was unfeminine and quite possibly not chaste.


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